23 Nov 2014

And Then, A Rough Paint Job….

So this fellow was sitting in his study studying stuff when there was a ‘bing-bong’ sounding sound signifying someone was seeking his attention at the front door.

Upon opening the front door he could see, through the porch door, a scruffily attired youth. Ah hah! thought our fellow, someone looking for a hand-out and he prepared his negative response accordingly while opening the porch door.

He was, however, caught completely off-guard by the youth who proceeded thus; “Good afternoon Sir. I’m so sorry to disturb you like this but, as you can see, I’m presently down on my luck and trying desperately to get back on my feet and was wondering if you had any odd-jobs I could do for you to earn a few pounds.”

Shocked by the polite and, apparently, well intentioned request from the young lad our guy frantically tried to think of a task for the guy. Then he remembered, owing to where he was standing, that the exterior of the porch was on his list of things to do, come spring, owing to the flaking paint that was exposing bare wood here and there. This kid could slap a quick coat on it thus protecting it from the rigours of a possible harsh winter to come; even though the BBC were predicting this winter would be the warmest since their records began. Way back in 2012.

Asking the lad to standby, he ran to his shed and located a three year old can of white gloss. The type we all have that has  a half inch of hard paint on its surface owing to the fact the lid hadn’t been correctly replaced after the last use. This skin he removed, depositing various solid bits into the paint. He also located a three inch paint brush of the type we all have; semi-hard owing to the fact it was given only a cursory cleaning after its last use.

He considered taking the three-step step ladder but doubted the lad had a Care and Use of a Three-step Step Ladder Health and Safety Certificate so decided to tell him just to do what he could comfortably reach which, it being a relatively small porch, wouldn’t leave a lot not painted.

Returning to the front our fellow presented the rubbish paint and semi-useless brush to the polite young painter and quickly moved his new car, his pride and joy, a couple of feet to avoid any possible splash-back.

“There you go my friend; just give the porch a quick protective coat o’ white. Can you do that?”
”That I can.” said the lad.

Our guy returned to his study and continued studying the stuff he’d been studying in the study prior to the ‘bing-bong’.

Time passed and eventually there was another ‘bing-bong’ suggesting the task was complete so our chap proceeded to the door and proffered a twenty to the lad.

Accepting the money with a smile of gratitude the lad said, ”Thank you Sir, that’s greatly appreciated.”
”No problem. Happy I could help in a small way. Good luck
to you in all your endeavours!”
With that the lad turned to leave and, just as the porch door was closing, turned back and called out, “Oh, by the way. It’s a Lotus not a Porsche……”

The moral of the story? Always put paint tin lids back on firmly and clean brushes properly. You never know; you may need a smooth finish sometime in the future.

Quote;  Françoise Sagan.

“Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”

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